I'm a Mess...((WARNING: Sensetive material))

[Monsūn Kaze]

You've been warned...







So, I haven't told anyone about this except for on DA and one other site. I haven't even told my rl friends because I don't want them to know the real me. I'm not as...happy-go-lucky as you think I am. I don't want attention, I just thought you guys should know, so you know what my real face is. I'm a very negative person. I may seem happy all the time, but I'm really not. I'm the type of person who never EVER asks for help, but I'll always ask people if something is bothering them and give them advice. You may think I'm selfless, but it's probably just to make myself feel better. I'm the Wallflower at school and the center of negative attention when I get home. I'm the type who thinks life sucks. I hate my family, everyone except for my pets and sometimes I just wish I'd never been born because they say I do nothing but make their lives miserable and been told I'm nothing but a mistake. I cut myself and I've had Insomnia starting 3 weeks ago. I secretly hate my friends as well, and wish something dramatic would happen so I could jump in and save them, just so they'll appreciate me just a little more than dirt. Sometimes when I'm somewhere, I'll imagine myself dying somehow and wonder if people would cry if I died. I have major trust issues due to being constantly betrayed by those I had placed my trust in.

So, now that you've learned more about me, can you still accept me?

Just thought you should know the real me.

[Gerard]

You've been warned...







So, I haven't told anyone about this except for on DA and one other site. I haven't even told my rl friends because I don't want them to know the real me. I'm not as...happy-go-lucky as you think I am. I don't want attention, I just thought you guys should know, so you know what my real face is. I'm a very negative person. I may seem happy all the time, but I'm really not. I'm the type of person who never EVER asks for help, but I'll always ask people if something is bothering them and give them advice. You may think I'm selfless, but it's probably just to make myself feel better. I'm the Wallflower at school and the center of negative attention when I get home. I'm the type who thinks life sucks. I hate my family, everyone except for my pets and sometimes I just wish I'd never been born because they say I do nothing but make their lives miserable and been told I'm nothing but a mistake. I cut myself and I've had Insomnia starting 3 weeks ago. I secretly hate my friends as well, and wish something dramatic would happen so I could jump in and save them, just so they'll appreciate me just a little more than dirt. Sometimes when I'm somewhere, I'll imagine myself dying somehow and wonder if people would cry if I died. I have major trust issues due to being constantly betrayed by those I had placed my trust in.

So, now that you've learned more about me, can you still accept me?

Just thought you should know the real me.

Course. I'll accept ya. I've done the same things, except cut myself. Cuz that hurts. I remember when my girlfriend got rid of me, I wanted to kill myself, but I didn't ya know. I'm sure things will get better, and if they don't... punch your problems in the face and make life better ^^

[Monsūn Kaze]

I don't know if it will.
Everytime I think life can't get any worse, it does.

[MaxieMarieHawke]

You're not alone. I still accept you. I have trust issues myself. The only you need to do is keep your head high and believe things will get better. Dying is not worth it. If people are saying things like that, you should tell someone you know you can trust. I've been there. Hell, I'm still there. I have abandonment issues. None of my friends want anything to do with me. My family doesn't talk to me much as if they're better off without me. Just know you're not alone. You can come to me for anything, too. I've gotten a lot wiser lately after some events, and I want to be able to help people. ^_^

[Monsūn Kaze]

I won't kill myself, I may have thought about it, but I'm too scared to kill myself.

I don't have abandonment issues. I'm just very anti-social and don't know how to ask for help because everytime I did ask for help when I was younger everyone ignored me so eventually I just stopped asking.

[MaxieMarieHawke]

Know that you're not alone. ^_^ People have fought different demons and went through various things, and when we all come together, we can help each other deal with those issues in a positive way.

[Cygnus]

Know that you're not alone. ^_^ People have fought different demons and went through various things, and when we all come together, we can help each other deal with those issues in a positive way.

yeah yeah^_^P

[Monsūn Kaze]

I know what you mean. My parents are separated as well. I used to talk to him and visit him all the time. But then the babies came and he stopped paying attention. They're 7 and 8 now but he still treats them like babies. I don't visit him. I don't talk to him. He doesn't wish me happy birthday's anymore or a Merry Christmas even though I do, but he never calls me back. I just have bad blood with everyone in my family. Honestly, I don't think anyone appreciates me and my friends are very criticising so I can't tell anyone.

It's hard to try to get someones attention when they're so close, but you know you aren't ready to tell them. And I'm the kind of person who has no backbone. I don't know how to say "good-bye" to a friend, and I don't like making others sad or upset. So I'm the one who's always getting dumped no matter how much I try to be flexible with all their different personalities...

[Celeste]

Finally found this. took me a while, but I felt I'd share it.

A Hindu saint who was visiting river Ganges to take bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples smiled and asked,

'Why do people shout in anger shout at each other?'

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, 'Because we lose our calm, we shout.'

'But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner' asked the saint.

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples.

Finally the saint explained,

'When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.

What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either non-existent or very small...'

The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'

He looked at his disciples and said;

'So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant, do not say words that distance each other more, or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.'


I just felt I'd share this. I'm not to sure how much it helps, but it's something to think about.

[Cygnus]

i think that is very wise

[Celeste]

Well, if you think about it, it is really true. I liked it a lot when I first saw it, and I thought I'd share.

[reshiramsama]

i agree! i like it too! ^^

[Lumin]

You and I are much the same, Monsun.
All exept the cutting part and maybe hating friends..though the friend part I'm still unsure of after today <<;
A friend kind of turned on me on DA recently...But thats not the point! Moving on!


I have trust issues myself, and I've been going through a lot, even just lately alone its been hell for me (Reshi knows, I talk to her when the larger issues come up >< )

I used to wish I were dead, but then I would sit on my bed and cry for hours on end because I ALSO dont want to die because...I dont know, I look at the world differently then others I guess...when I look outside on a bright sunny day I think "Oh my god, its so beautiful", the way the light touches the trees and the grass...the soft colors...
But then I go back to think about how fucked up my life can or has been, and I lose myself again e_e;


And my trust issues mostly come from the fact that whenever I feel I've made a friend, they turn on me in some way, and I have a few of being alone so...I kind hide I guess...



But, I figured someday my life will get better...someday
Atleast I'm finding good people in this group, it is helping me to relax and think positively

And of course, everyone is still going to accept you, you are who you are, and we love you that way

[ShironaJohanna]

You've been warned...







So, I haven't told anyone about this except for on DA and one other site. I haven't even told my rl friends because I don't want them to know the real me. I'm not as...happy-go-lucky as you think I am. I don't want attention, I just thought you guys should know, so you know what my real face is. I'm a very negative person. I may seem happy all the time, but I'm really not. I'm the type of person who never EVER asks for help, but I'll always ask people if something is bothering them and give them advice. You may think I'm selfless, but it's probably just to make myself feel better. I'm the Wallflower at school and the center of negative attention when I get home. I'm the type who thinks life sucks. I hate my family, everyone except for my pets and sometimes I just wish I'd never been born because they say I do nothing but make their lives miserable and been told I'm nothing but a mistake. I cut myself and I've had Insomnia starting 3 weeks ago. I secretly hate my friends as well, and wish something dramatic would happen so I could jump in and save them, just so they'll appreciate me just a little more than dirt. Sometimes when I'm somewhere, I'll imagine myself dying somehow and wonder if people would cry if I died. I have major trust issues due to being constantly betrayed by those I had placed my trust in.

So, now that you've learned more about me, can you still accept me?

Just thought you should know the real me.

You will always be my friend, I don't care how much you hate your friends and you hide them secrectly but I know that it's not what your life is for. As you know, I am a superstitious person ( just a bit ) and many of my friends dislike me for the way I act and my favorites but I don't hate them because it's not their faults and you don't hate us, am I correct? i know you are a good person.

And... I think you should listen to the song "make a wish" in the pokemon series.
Find the strength inside and find your own friends
you don't need to worry about yourself, there are thousand of people in the world and they have different way of act, abilities and every thing!
If you need any help, please tell us, we will help you every ways we can and I promise that I will try to stay by your side and wish you a better life, brighter days and wonderful friends. ^^

I'm 16 and I don't have any friends when I was young so I talked to myself and my novel insteed of every thing and it becomes a habit of mine, I still talk to myself and it make me happy, let me tell you something,... There is a person, who is always understand you, it yourself.

And... Your parents, am I correct? Hm, let's see... I... Didn't really... Love my mother because she often says that I must do everything she said, especially her guide but I do every thing my own and it worked better.
Maybe your parents disagree too many thing of yours but they are your family, everytime I image my mother's death, I often cry...
~The mother love for us is large like the Pacific Ocean
Her shadow casts under the moonlight
When I get back and I couldn't see my mom
And I call out her name every where
In the heaven she watches over us
And we could hear our beloved mother
"I love you!"~
that's a part of a popular song of my country. Hope it helps you mend your heart.

[Monsūn Kaze]

I didn't hate them at first. I'm the type of person who is shy but affectionate with words. I always said something positive, but as our friendship drew on they simply started criticising me and were always putting me down. Even at home to the point where I have 0 self confidense to the way I act to the clothes I wear. Eventually, they all just betrayed me or left me in the end. I try being a good kid for my parents, but enough is never enough for them. Everything I do is wrong in everyones eyes and I can't bend backwards all the time for everyone. Just this week my friend said if I said a persons name that she was talking about out loud again then she wasn't going to walk with me anymore. I mean, it wasn't like she was talking bad about him, so I don't know why she had to make such a big deal out of it. And she's cursed me out and ditched me a bunch of times before in front of everyone in my school. I have no backbone, so of course, I did nothing. And there was my old friend who hated this girl. We both disliked her, but then suddenly during the summer she had pm'd me on facebook saying: "Kim wants you to delete her from your friends list." And then unfriended me because she had suddenly decided to be Kim's friend. We had been best friends and all of a sudden she does that. To me that's like a slap in the face. Everyone betrays me in the end, but, yeah...

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